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  • There's no such thing as "formal" cargo shorts.
  • Don't mention your ex. Ever.
  • Pace yourself. The night is young.
  • Respect the designated driver.
  • First date? Leave the coupon at home.
  • Tip like you mean it.
  • The bartender has a name, and it's probably not "Yo!"
  • The cocktail stirrer is not a straw.
  • Take pride in everything you do.
  • Whoever buys the round gets to make the toast.
  • Your friend's ex is off limits. Sorry.
  • Never forget where you came from.
  • Asking if they're real or fake is a great way to never find out.
  • "Ice cream, taquitos and beer" is not a fully-stocked fridge.
  • Never show up to dinner without cash.
  • One good cocktail beats two mediocre cocktails every time.
  • Her eyes are up there.
  • Be well-read, well-traveled, and well-rounded.
  • Half-price oysters will cost you later.


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