My buddy just broke up with his (awesome) girlfriend. When can I ask her out?
42%
Depends
- Luana Suciu, 25, from Boston, MA
"On their relationship and our friendship." - Carly Twisselman, 25, from Los Angeles, CA
"If they only dated for a week, go for it. If it was long term, never." - Whitney R, 25, from Princeton, NJ
"I'd say never, but sometimes it can work. Give it plenty of time." - Lucy Malcolm, 26, from New York, NY
"How long did they date? Did you know her before they started dating?" - Kate Bailey, 26, from Chicago, IL
"That is between you boys." - Maya Calaway, 24, from Boston, MA
"Your friendship with him is more important than the potential relationship." - Heather Callan, 25, from Chicago, IL
"Take care of your boy first." - Vanessa Jeong, 28, from San Leandro, CA
"Make sure it's cool with him first." - Ashley Becker, 26, from New York, NY and Miami, FL
"I mean, NO, don't do it! But if 'buddy' is a lose term, screw it!" - JoAnna Di Tullio, 24, from Boston, MA
"Ha. Well, as long as your friend is truly OK with it, then go for the gold." - Susie Jones, 29, from Naples, Fl
"Best friend guy: NEVER. Acquaintance friend: YES." - Erika San Miguel, 32, from Larkspur, CA
"Ask your friend. Never, ever let a girl/guy come between your friendships." - Emily Pelton, 29, from Brooklyn, NY
"First you have to wait a long time—then you have to ask your friend about it." - Amy S., 25, from Chicago, IL
"As a general rule, stay away. If you think she is the love of your life....still gotta wait." - Jessi Odenbach, 28, from Chicago, IL
"Why did they break up? And every dude is different." - Ashley Potter, 26, from Milwaukee, WI
"And he has to be cool with it." - Kate Sample, 31, from Chicago, IL
"If he dated her past a few months, you really can't." - Jennifer Beio, 26, from Chicago, IL
"Depends on the situation! Talk to him about it." - Tiffany Davis, 32, from San Diego, CA
"Depends on how serious they were, and if she is into you." - Cat Davis, 25, from New York, NY
"Depends on if he was in love with her or not." - Elinor N, 23, from New York, NY
"If you think she’s awesome and he doesn’t I’d ask him what he thinks about you asking her out." - Grace Hsieh, 22, from San Diego, CA
"Depends who you like more." - Rachel U, 26, from New York, NY
"If she seems interested and he wasn’t that into her, then wait until it seems appropriate." - Sarah Conrad, 27, from New York, NY
"Depends on how close you are with your friend." - Jackie Rivera, 25, from Miami, FL
"If he was torn up about it, never. If it was mutual, give it 6 months. If it’s meant happen it will." - Pienby Laurence, 25, from Jersey City, NJ
"If you aren’t close, there’s no reason that three people should be unhappy instead of just one." - Rosalind Sun, 23, from San Diego, CA
"Depends on the situation." - Gina Kim, 24, from San Diego, CA
"It depends on how he feels a year or more after they break up. Does he still have feelings for her?" - Veronica Cheung, 24, from San Diego, CA
"I always felt that guys didn’t care as much. But it depends on the relationship." - Ann Dang, 24, from San Diego, CA
"How close was your buddy to you?" - Yisell Muxo, 35, from Miami, FL
"on the friend, the relationship, etc" - Krissy P, 25, from NJ
"Uh I don’t think it’s a good idea unless he wasn’t that into her." - Nadia Reiman, 28, from Brooklyn, NY
"Was it an awful breakup with a girl he thought he’d marry? If so, never. If it was casual, 6 months?" - Regina Melzer, 32, from Los Angeles, CA
"If it’s really love it will wait… let your buddy get over her first!" - Elise Stiller, 36, from Seaford, NY
"It soooo depends on the situation!" - Shelby Kovant, 25, from New York, NY
"I believe in the bro code but if you're into her, talk to him after he's recovered & see how it goes" - Kate DAlleva, 25, from Morristown, NJ
"It'll be awkward if you all have to hang out together." - Johanna Beyenbach, 29, from New York, NY
"Depends on how close you are with the buddy. How long they were dating. etc." - Miana DeGardeyn, 33, from Chicago, IL
"If she was a serious girlfriend, don't even think about it." - Kristin Castro, 24, from San Francisco, CA
"Depends on how close of friends you were..." - Genevieve Melzer, 27, from San Francisco, CA
"If you don't want to be friends with him any more...but if she's the one then he's worth losing." - Genevieve Melzer, 27, from San Francisco, CA
"Not if you want keep your buddy. But maybe open up the conversation with him, if you're close." - Britt Ancell, 26, from New York, NY
"How long did they date? Why did they break up? Sooooo circumstantial." - Jen Gsell, 29, from Reston, VA
"Depends on the circumstances of their break up and how long they were together/how serious." - Anna Bykova, 23, from San Francisco, CA
"Depends on the girl." - Jessica Angst, 23, from Palm Beach, FL
"If he's your good friend-not the best idea; if there's a stronger connection with her-give it a shot" - Shelby Kovant, 25, from New York, NY
"I believe in the bro code but if you're into her, talk to him after he's recovered and see how it go" - Elizabeth Fenwick, 23, from Berkeley, CA
"It completely depends on how long your buddy was dating her, and levels of attachment." - Nora Lahl, 31, from Milwaukee, WI
"Is she the most amazing person you’ve ever met? Do you mind if he hates you forever?" - Rachel U, 26, from New York, NY
"It depends how long they dated, if he cares, if she ever seemed interested, etc." - Shelly Kaplan, 28, from Chicago, IL
"Do you plan on staying friends with him too? Cause that may not fly." - Nicole Laws, 30, from Fort Lauderdale, FL
"This issue is totally situation dependant." - Christina Johnson, 31, from New York, NY
"Of course it depends, but either way I'd wait a long time." - Jacquelyn Tillotson, 31, from Miami Beach, FL
"You need to get approval from your buddy. It's the respectful thing to do." - Monique Lewis, 31, from New York, NY
"Be very careful with that."
2%
Immediately
- Jennifer Manghisi, 27, from New York, NY
"He'll get over it. All is fair in love and war." - Dominique Jackson, 29, from Los Angeles, CA
"You can always try, doesn't mean she'll oblige." - Francesca Lacuesta, 29, from Sacramento, CA
"Don't be an idiot - keep it on the downlow."
3%
1 year
- Alicia Cohen, 37, from New York, NY
"You don't want to lose your friend or be a rebound." - Vicky Chivy, 26, from San Diego, CA
"1 month" - Marianna Branda, 23, from Miami, FL
"But not if you guys were close. That’s just wrong." - Claire Griffin, 28, from Charleston, SC
"It depends. But I started dating my fiance a year after I broke up with his loser friend."
3%
6 months
- Rebecca Nashleanas, 25, from Los Angeles, CA
"It depends on how close you guys are and how serious their relationship was." - Marisa Zupan, 27, from Brooklyn, NY
"Any earlier and you'll all hate each other in a month...not worth it." - Greta Eagan, 30, from New York, NY
"If you are going to go there- let some time go by for them both to heal first." - Christine Behrens, 24, from Oakland, CA
"Wait til he's dating someone new, and make it seem like you're asking for his approval."
1%
1 month
- Anne C, 24, from Miami, FL
"I'd say that's a good period to wait, but that doesn't mean you can't drop a couple hints that you'r"
49%
Never. It’s guy code.
- Emily Woolf, 26, from Brooklyn, NY
"Below the belt to even think that's an ok idea." - Brittany Caudle, 25, from New York, NY
"NEVER!" - Katrina Robinson, 28, from Charleston, SC
"Seriously. Even I know that, and I'm a chick." - Priya Massand, 30, from Flushing, NY
"Isn't this like THE guy rule never to break?" - Allison Baxley, 29, from New York, NY
"Unless you receive express consent from your buddy, and even then, wait a while. A long while." - Ashley Hayes, 24, from Los Angeles, CA
"That's just an un-written rule." - Mekalia Reid, 27, from New York, NY
"That's GROSS!" - Sandy Tragos, 32, from Chicago, IL
"Why would you want leftovers?" - Dominique Vance, 23, from New York, NY
"Unless it's several years later, you know he's over her & he's given you the ok, or suggested it him" - Miki Taka, 27, from Columbus, OH
"Unwritten rule." - Molly Millett, 23, from San Francisco, CA
"That is never ok." - Julienne Irons, 27, from Los Angeles, CA
"Just not cool. It's gonna hurt your buddy." - Theresa G, 24, from San Francisco, CA
"You're an ass if you do. UNLESS she's a homie hopper and he knows and accepts then she's fair game." - Angela H, 0, from North, CA
"Sloppy seconds is a no-no." - Karoline D'Angola, 24, from Bernardsville, NJ
"Too much baggage, don't risk the friendship unless he's completely fine with it." - Claire Watkins, 25, from Santa Cruz, CA
"That's wrong." - Kelly Kaems, 30, from Kew Gardens, NY
"I know how tempting it could be but hands OFF." - Lauren McHenry, 26, from Dallas, TX
"Big no no." - Aja Bernard, 27, from Brooklyn, NY
"That's the #1 rule of friendship." - Schuyler Pham, 24, from Brooklyn, NY
"Maybe one day way far away." - Shannon Harknett, 24, from New Orleans, LA
"It's a girl code too." - Danielle L, 26, from Chicago, IL
"Don't be a jerk. If you value the friendship, any ex-girlfriend is pretty much off limits." - Laura Lefkowitz, 35, from New York, NY
"The body's not even cold. Not cool!" - Renee Lucas, 30, from New York, NY
"That only leads to problems. Big, big problems." - Alison Dichter, 31, from New York, NY
"Seriously. You can't date your friend's ex!" - Jenna E, 32, from Davenport, IA
"That's just wrong. That just makes the girl look like a skank too." - Rosie Dehoyos, 29, from Dallas, TX
"Weird, get your own girls." - Deeana Lowe-Chin, 24, from Miami, FL
"That's just rude, you're not really his friend if you do, and she isn't very girlfriend worthy." - Ashley Woolley, 25, from Chicago, IL
"Can you seriously think about them being formerly naked together and not care?" - Mercedes Tahir, 23, from New York, NY
"It works both ways... you can't do that!!" - Tiffany Clarke, 25, from richmond, ca
"No exceptions." - Samantha Conniff, 24, from Brooklyn, NY
"I don't think there are any exceptions." - Erika Thomas, 25, from Miami, FL
"Plus if she says yes, it's probably just to spite her ex." - Amber Sellers, 33, from Brooklyn, NY
"I thought this was rule #1?!" - Jessica Angst, 23, from Palm Beach, FL
"Guy Code - don't do it!" - Vida James, 28, from New York, NY
"But if it's ~true love~ you can ask him if it's ok years later." - Kylan Conroy, 24, from Chicago, IL
"Come on, this is a no brainer!" - Jessica Barrutia, 24, from Chicago, IL
"Duh!" - Frankie Robinson, 36, from Chicago, IL
"Geez are you that thirsty!" - Sara Bour, 23, from Urbana, IL
"If it was a serious relationship, it is definitely never okay to ask her out." - Doris Parker, 27, from Springfield, MA
"Females have the same applicable code." - Grace Kang, 29, from Los Angeles, CA
"Don’t do it." - Senait Mengstab, 30, from San Francisco, CA
"But that depends on whether you want to keep that friend or how tight you are." - Amy Liu, 23, from San Diego, CA
"Same with girls." - Sara Jagodzinski, 24, from Carol Stream, IL
"Unless your friend didn't care about her and you had a better connection with her." - Becca Schepps, 29, from Brooklyn, NY
"Unless you’re gonna marry her, hands off." - Kimone Campbell, 27, from Palm Beach, FL
"The code." - Nancy Spruiell, 43, from New York, NY
"What kind of guy are you that you’d want to date your good friend’s ex?" - Lisa Miao, 27, from New York, NY
"I dated an ex's friend after 5 years. It still sometimes feels weird." - Paula L, 28, from Miami, Florida
"That’s just rude, you’re not really his friend if you do. Also, what kind of girl is she?" - Vicky Kuo, 24, from San Diego, CA
"Unless they’re REALLY over it. Like 5 yrs later." - Kate Cohen, 27, from Syosset, NY
"NEVER EVER." - Vicky K, 25, from Chino Hills, CA
"You don’t need a girl telling you that." - Jill Hanner, 34, from Astoria, NY
"Just don’t do it- it will ruin your friendship." - Justine Bour, 26, from Chicago, IL
"Loyalty is such an important quality in a guy, so going after your friend's ex is a no no." - Stephanie Singer, 30, from New York, NY
"That's lame." - Sherika Mair, 29, from West Palm Beach, FL
"Some people are just off limits." - Kelly Magsayo, 23, from La Jolla, CA
"Plus, do you really want to get tied up in that mess?" - Jill Hanner, 34, from Astoria, NY
"Just don’t do it- it will ruin your friendship." - Wendy Liu, 23, from Alhambra, CA
"It’s awkward and will put you to shame. Plus, that group of friends won’t see you the same way." - Jill Hanner, 34, from Astoria, NY
"Just don’t do it- it will ruin your friendship." - Kira Wilkinson, 27, from Washington, DC
"Don’t do it." - Jill Hanner, 34, from Astoria, NY
"Just don’t do it- it will ruin your friendship." - Deborah Lau, 23, from La Jolla, CA
"That would make it awkward. Respect his exes. You wouldn’t want him to do that to you." - Sara Koch, 30, from Youngstown, OH
"There are other fish in the sea."