
Johanna Beyenbach / 29, New York, NY
I moved to New York to play on the Internet. In my spare time I ride my bike, take pictures, write letters and play my piano.

Mojito
Her answer: I'd rather he be interesting than be a marathoner
Or have a more interesting way of staying in shape than a gym. Martial arts, anyone?
Her answer: Let's go jogging together!
Google the Misattribution of Arousal Paradigm.
Her answer: Tattoos are sexy; just make sure they're good
I like all tattoos. Let's compare.
Her answer: Always a good look
Wanna teach me a thing or two?
Her answer: A good, old-fashioned hamburger
GRR CARNAL
Her answer: Seems aloof and plays hard to get
The chase does it for me.
Her answer: Hot-blooded
Keep the thinking in the office.
Her answer: Taking in the beauty of the world, me included.
I daydream a lot. I'd prefer you do the same vs. getting mad at me for doing it.
Her answer: C'mon. Wash your feet.
Why is this harder than washing any other body part?
Her answer: Hardly a habit
I fidget a lot when I get happy about something. So, a good sign unless you're a fidgety creep.
Her answer: Dead-on.
I'm just speaking for myself. Why would I lie?
Her answer: Why wouldn't it be?
Jesus, really? If we've kissed, then do the math. Transitive property, guys.
Her answer: When I'm close to you.
If we're at that level of comfort where I AM close to you, and THEN you smell nice too... pow.
Her answer: Your hairy neck & back.
I just lost my appetite.
Her answer: Bigger than me.
Bigger without being husky or muscly. asdf;lkj to both of those.
Her answer: There's no particular age
Whenever it feels right.
Her answer: “I can show you the world”...
I'm in a silly mood. The Aladdin reference wins.
Her answer: Yes, it’s like understanding another universe.
Teach me some, while you're at it.
Her answer: Doesn’t matter
Some things move faster than others. Whatever feels normal.
Her answer: “Booooooring.”
There comes a point in a guy-guy debate when you know it's going to last forever. Shut up already.
Her answer: Gangs of New York
Loved Daniel Day-Lewis. What a swarthy attractive creep.
Her answer: Hate it.
I have zero opinion on this.
Her answer: Beatles
Depends on mood. I like Beatles' chord progressions more though.
Her answer: Can you not be pleasant and honest?
You can be playful with your honesty.
Her answer: Not necessary.
I'll tell you about it if there's anything to tell.
Her answer: It's all in good fun
Depends on the relationship between you & the other person.
Her answer: Full democracy
1) Agree on music; 2) Whomever's iPod the music is on
Her answer: Five minutes.
Last time this happened, the guy brought up the Green Party.
Her answer: A story is a story is a story.
Your ex was a part of your life. Why should you have to cut that whole bit out for my sake?
Her answer: Once a week
It depends on the dynamic of your relationship. I can't force you to do anything.
Her answer: Not at all
I just rolled my eyes. If I want to be difficult with a fancy drink, I can make it.
Her answer: Twenty percent
20 is just my habit unless I get ignored or sassed.
Her answer: Fake a Limp
Just because this option made me laugh really hard. Fake a limp while dancing, while you're at it.
Her answer: If there's chemistry, why not?
I don't get why there would be a problem here...
Her answer: Finish it.
If there's not a lot left, sure. Just don't act like you're at a frat party. Gross.
Her answer: Why not?
Food is awesome. Eat what you want and love it.
Her answer: Yes.
Go for it; just don't be on it the entire time.
Her answer: Depends how hard you're trying to find a job
I hate complacency. On anyone.
Her answer: Maybe?
Maybe + question mark exactly.
Her answer: Let’s do this, but keep it quiet.
I hate regret of not doing something. Do what it takes to keep both people honest & happy.
Her answer: If you are TALENTED starving artist.
This is a slippery slope; I've had 5 million musician failures. This really depends.
Her answer: What kind of jobs are we talking about?
If you’ve lots of odd jobs to support you while you pursue what you truly love, fine.
Her answer: Let me be the judge of your awesomeness
If it makes you excited about life, go for it. I love that.
Her answer: Everybody.
Nice underwear is more like it. ‘Sexy’ underwear on a guy sounds creepy to me.
Her answer: If you want to look like a loser.
It works if it doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard. I don’t know what I mean by that.
Her answer: Yes, it shows style.
I admit it, I like accessories.
Her answer: Depends on his style.
Whatever makes your hair look good; I just don’t want to be able to tell.
Her answer: Beard
I can’t explain, this is just based on past behavioral patterns.
Her answer: Whenever
Sincere or ironic, I kind of like both.
Her answer: Boxer briefs
The Calvin Klein billboard on Houston explains it all.
Her answer: A high five before I get in a cab
It totally depends on how the whole thing goes. But come on, casual is casual.
Her answer: FALSE
However you feel most comfortable. As long as you are deliberate about it & not lazy.
Her answer: Just don't cheat.
I’d be a hypocrite if I said otherwise.
Her answer: Split
If it’s an Rx, I’ll pay (easier with insurance etc.). Otherwise, whomever’s at the store.
Her answer: I look at every picture
Depends on how much I like you. There’s a positive correlation
Her answer: Once we’re ‘serious’
Safety thing is the only thing I care about in the beginning. Otherwise, whenever.
Her answer: No
I like the shroud of mystery in the beginning. I might Google you later on though.
Her answer: Why do I have to move? He should come to me.
The only place I'd move to is Tokyo. Unless you move here or we go there together, bye.
Her answer: Yes.
Get creative though! No red roses.
Her answer: Never.
Only if I want something specific. Otherwise, buy me a record or a book.
Her answer: No.
Ha, Ha, hahaha. Bye.
Her answer: Nope.
If two people are out and single, hopefully it means it's just a regular day.
Her answer: Yes.
Even if it's true, she'll notice if you don't do or say SOMETHING.
Her answer: Classless.
Makes me think you are expecting something. More dumb framing.
Her answer: Creepy.
A week? Go disappear.
Her answer: No.
Too much weird, expectant framing.
Her answer: Fancy dinner
Food AND drink. Can't go wrong.
Her answer: The thought.
More thought = more value
Her answer: Why not?
I am missing why this would be a problem.
Her answer: Of course
Depends on what the party's like. If it's open to guests, then sure.
Her answer: Overdress
Can't ever go wrong with overdressing. Remember my Chuck Bass comment?
Her answer: A few years into the relationship
Also depends on the relationship with your parents.
Her answer: Same
Hey, whatever your parents are comfortable with. Their house.
Her answer: little too big?
It's easier to improvise with something bigger.
Her answer: Lame
This 100% depends on who does it.
Her answer: Rum punch
Most of the time eggnog creeps me out.
Her answer: Don’t care
I normally would care about details like these. But whatever.
Her answer: Daily
HAHA are you kidding?
Her answer: There’s a time and a place
It's all relative. Use your judgement.
Her answer: Seriously?
SRSLY?
Her answer: Depends
Depends on how close you are with the buddy. How long they were dating. etc.
Her answer: Never! Keep it in confidence.
The girl doesn't need to know. This is between you and your friend.
Her answer: Get thee to an ATM after a massive apology.
No need for a massive apology. Just get thee to an ATM. Happens a lot here.
Her answer: Indispensable
Gah, some of the best stuff comes from public broadcasting! So interesting!
Her answer: Offensive
Neither offensive nor hilarious. Completely boring.
Her answer: Anything at all
Reading is nice.
Her answer: Yep
He's legit. And with lulz.
Her answer: Less cool
It's easier to get yourself booked at a venue in NY, I would think. Just go for that.
Her answer: A good way to have lots of great stories
Because why not? You don't have to be rich to visit faraway lands.
Her answer: No
Not unless you bring up your long list out of nowhere, sans context.
Her answer: Ice cream and taquitos
Somewhere in between Joe's Apartment and Big.
Her answer: 1st
It depends on the public place.
Her answer: Somewhat
If it's something crazy, then it would be weird if he didn't...
Her answer: Never
I hate this more than almost anything in the world.
Her answer: First come, first served.
Who cares.
Her answer: Offer to take them out for dinner post-honeymoon.
Everyone seems to get married in waves, which can drain your account quickly.
Her answer: A night on the town.
I guess? Quality time with the bros, as you twits say?
Her answer: Brunch!
Brunch AND hair of the dog, in the form of a Bloody Mary. Buy me one too?
Her answer: 2 good
You'll feel sicker the next day otherwise! In a worse way, too.
Her answer: Yes. But they’re just using you.
As long as you realize that.
Her answer: Club soda, stat!
I would have said salt, but I've heard the club soda thing. And if not, oh well. I'll buy you a new
Her answer: True
I don't know. I follow it, though. I can be superstitious.
Her answer: No, why have the extra baggage?
Wait, that could be considered lame?
Her answer: Liquor, straight up
Then you can teach me about different types of whiskeys!
Her answer: Of course
I just want you to do what makes you smile and not believe you won the lottery & got to do this for
Her answer: No
As in, 'somebody someone III' or something? I hope not.
Her answer: Equal
Equal might be less complicated than other experiences I've had...
Her answer: Not necessary. Just do your job!
Never thought about it this way before. Just do your job; extracurricular drinks are unnecessary, bu
Her answer: Research! Talk to recruiters, friends, and colleagues.
It helps to know what's industry standard, what other people in your position make, etc.
Her answer: Bring friends to make things more comfortable.
Or just network on the Internet like I do.
Her answer: Text
I chose the most impersonal because it doesn't really matter. All communication is the same.
Her answer: Overdress
Chuck Bass came to mind. If he walked into a dive bar in a suit, I would drop my beer.
Her answer: 60% of the time
I would know the right mustache if I saw it. I feel uncomfortable elaborating.
Her answer: Insane
STOP. JESUS. STOP. NOW. OW. WHAT. STOP.
Her answer: In
Anything else and I'm not interested.
Her answer: Who cares?
Really?
Her answer: In
For a guy, though? Eh, maybe. Depends on the look. Could work.
Her answer: It’s an absolute must
'Absolute must' makes it sound like I want a guy to look fashiony all the time.
Her answer: It depends on the level of hate.
It depends on how much he listens to her (assuming the hate is mutual).
Her answer: Romantic
I hate the word 'romantic' but I think it's cute.
Her answer: No
Jesus, give me a break.
Her answer: Pretty
I suck.
Her answer: I don’t care
Most guys I've liked are short-ish. Some recently are taller.
Her answer: Not a problem
There are always exceptions.
Her answer: Four
It depends on what you call a date.
Her answer: No way. I'd know and that's all that matters.
Guilt kills me more than anything. No thanks.
Her answer: Absolutely. You've got to show some respect.
It does depend on the context, though. What if one person lives in Japan or something?
Her answer: If it wasn't going to get around, sure.
You only get one life. And when you have so much in common with someone already...
Her answer: 70+
I plead the fifth.
Her answer: Yes
Please no circus though. City Hall is great enough for me.
Her answer: I tried it once. Not for me.
The framing of "this is a date we are meeting for" is too much for me, though. Feels so unnatural.
Her answer: Never
Like, go into their account? Get lost.
Her answer: Feeling close to their partner
Depends on the context between the 2 people.
Her answer: It depends on the guy
Probably only if they were in a monogamous relationship.
Her answer: No
I might say yes, but am picturing one of those illuminating mag articles with stats proving otherwise.
Her answer: There's never a time when he should
Really, is it 1960? It's lovely if he does here and there, but shouldn't be expected to ever.
Her answer: A glass of fine Don Q Gran Añejo
This is a trick question, isn't it?
Her answer: Um, other.
This probably doesn't count, but I look at haircuts first.
Her answer: Of course
WTF is "real men"?
Her answer: The people
If this is where I have to spend the majority of my waking hours, I better not be homicidal.
Her answer: Career
I place drive over almost all else.
Her answer: Hourly
Sometimes it's the only way I can keep in touch with them. Life's too crazy.
Her answer: I find them gross and I hope guys do as well.
There are definite camps here. Some love them, some hate them.
Her answer: What recession?
Yeah, woops.
Her answer: All of the above
Favorite: soda water.
Her answer: An outdoor rooftop with a beautiful view
I love all of these. Depends on the mood.
Her answer: I stick to one type of drink the whole night
I get intense about drinks when I find one I like for the night.
Her answer: Are true connoisseurs
Might say something about their character.
Her answer: Infusing, muddling, flaming orange peels; I love a challenging cocktail.
AGAIN depends on the mood, but I like figuring out a tricky cocktail.
Her answer: Lean all the way over the bar
It's usually the only way I can be seen over everyone else crowding the place.
Her answer: Lame
GMAFB and make me my drink. I'm not there for a show.
Her answer: Traditional
Or strawberry. Yum.
Her answer: Mojito
Wait. There's a Black & Blue Mojito recipe somewhere? I'm looking for that as soon as I'm done here.
Her answer: A little of both
I'm a fan of novelty, so I periodically revert to the alternative to balance things out.
Her answer: We've never talked about it.
I give gifts as I see them; having a specific occasion for them seems forced to me. We'll see.
Her answer: Fly solo
Neither; I avoid Black Friday like the black death.
Her answer: My parents
I like reliving my childhood at least a few times a year.
Her answer: Shopping
I am easily sucked into shopping; from my desk to avoid the insanity though.
Her answer: Making the stuffing
He's a better cook than me; I'll definitely need help from him!
Her answer: Hitting the slopes
First time for me and winter sports this year; I'm terrified. I might stay in the hot tub.
Her answer: What?
Get out of my face.
Her answer: Family time
I really do never get to see my parents; I like resetting a couple of times a year.
Her answer: Somewhere new
Somewhere new in a familiar neighborhood is my favorite.
Her answer: About a month
It depends on how serious/long the relationship was. It's all relative.
Her answer: Yes, I've managed to make the transition.
We obviously had a connection at some point.
Her answer: At a friend's party
We're friends for a number of reasons, they're friends for a number of reasons...wires cross.
Her answer: As soon as we break up
I document pretty much everything in real time.
Her answer: After we've been in a relationship for a few months
It depends on who's getting married, what the situation is, where it is, etc.
Her answer: Somewhat important
I don't practice; he can do whatever he wants as long as it doesn't affect our relationship.
Her answer: Very important
I can't handle a Republican talking at me, ever.
Her answer: Not
If you have to bring technology into it, at least use Skype.
Her answer: Yup. They're doing something right.
I see them acting silly with each other all the time. I need that.
Her answer: Neither
This question is offensive.
Her answer: Front man
He has to entertain the audience the most.
Her answer: Atomic
MORE SRIRACHA
Her answer: No way. Too much baggage there.
I can't stand kids.
Her answer: Pass the controller; I'll frag your ass
My boy just installed every single NES game ever made onto my computer + an emulator and controller.
Her answer: Cat person
It's so easy to be emotionally lazy with dogs; I like earning affection.
Her answer: Yes. He's got style, and I dig that.
So many sneakers in so many colors. He could write Hypebeast.
Her answer: I love a man in thick glasses
Let's just say he has shape and color theory tattoos.
Her answer: Rude
Completely boring. Get new material.
Her answer: I don't watch it
Bye.
Her answer: Pick me up a on tandem bike
Let's ride with one long scarf twirled around both our necks while we're at it. LOL DEAD
Her answer: I don't watch it
You can probably tell right now that I'm not into popular television.
Her answer: I don't watch it
Oh god, what?
Her answer: NY Style
One regular slice, please.
Her answer: Soft shell
Less mess/better for on-the-go & outdoor parties
Her answer: Rock
Anything to make me dance in my seat.
Her answer: 70s
New Wave FTW.
Her answer: I don't watch it
My pick is always the bad guy, so whoever that is.
Her answer: WHAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
I don't like bringing anybody to concerts. It's personal/I don't want to hear your commentary.
Her answer: Start-up
More inspiring, more energy, better clothes.
Her answer: Both
More vacations together.
Her answer: Around the world
To be so inspired that I want to jump out the window: I'll go anywhere.
Her answer: Rolls
Neat packaging.
Her answer: Lobster Thermidor
A vegan who makes me smoked pork shoulder? I'm a lucky gal.
Her answer: He can fix it
It pays to date an engineer.
Her answer: Start their own compost piles
Just don't keep the compost in the house.